Castigator

You put your pants on both legs at the same time. You eat pizza crust first. You still have a landline. You don't care how many Snapmatic posts it takes to prove that you don't care what anyone thinks. So, when you're filming your unpedicured feet hopping out of your SUV and into the waters of Raton Canyon, there's only one vehicle for the job: introducing the Castigator, the only SUV on the market that's as environmentally conscious as it is capable of grinding the remotest wilderness into a muddy pulp.